Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Required Hair Styles for "Special Events"

What happens when an activity requires a child's hair to be a certain style, especially for a special event?  Many of us are faced with this challenge from time to time.  How do you deal with this dilemma?   Have you thought about how the style will be achieved?  Or how to deal with the hair after the event?   Will the way you choose to attain the hair style cause damage to the hair?

Before the yearly recital at my daughter's dance school, itineraries are handed out with instructions on how the child's hair should be worn.  Each year seems to be the same; the high bun.  The hair style is also required for the professional photo shoot that is done a month prior.

From the mothers, I see the frowns, hear the whispers of disagreement and the rolling of the eyes because of the daunting task to accomplish the requested hair style.  It is not because they do not want the particular style; some simply feel that their child's hair cannot be styled that way.  Some of the mothers have to deal with hair that they may find challenging to manage or style.  

Some mention getting their child's hair professionally straightened.  That is a choice that is practiced often.  If using heat on the child's hair is an option, be sure that the hair is well moisturized.  Flat ironing/pressing the hair on dry hair (unmoisturized hair) can cause the hair to become more dry, breakage and damage the hair strands. Some automatically set the hair tool to the highest temperature, thinking that it will do the trick and get the job done.  Doing a strand test starting with the minimum amount of heat is a good way to know how much heat is enough to straighten the hair.  This can alleviate the issues mentioned above.   Start with a moderate heat setting to see if the hair will straighten enough.  If you are satisfied with the results, you have the perfect heat setting. If you are not, take a couple of strands and move on to the next higher setting.  Heat damage can happen on any type of hair, on natural or chemically processed hair.  Once the hair is damaged, it is damaged.  Keep in mind, the less heat you use over all, the better.

My daughter (MadiMelzCurlz) has a very coarse hair texture when dry without products. Her hair is in the 4 texture range. Straightening her hair would have been an option for me to manage her hair and put it into a bun. But for the past three years since she has been dancing in her recitals, I have found "heatless" ways that helped me manage her hair and style it into a bun. That has been a preferred choice of mine. I wash her hair as normal, moisturize and then set it into several jumbo twists or loose french braids in each section to air dry. Once her hair is dried, I can undo the twists/braids and style her hair.  The results show that her shrunked hair has been stretched out to make it more manageable and takes less time to style.  I moisturize the hair ends and use a light gel around the edges to flatten the hair for a neater look.  Here's a video below on styling the hair into a simple bun:

* Creating a Basic Bun (Two Different Ways)

There are several ways to stretch out the hair without using heat.  Below are two links that shows the ways we shared on our Youtube channel.  BlessedMomOf3 shows a way to stretch the hair with the "Banding" method.  This method can also be worn as a style which is absolutely beautiful too:

* "Banding" Stretching Natural Hair Without Heat

Here is another way to stretch the hair without heat by doing jumbo twists or braids:

* Stretching Natural Hair Without Heat

This is the time where lot of recitals, competitions, weddings, gymnastics, sports etc. are happening now or coming soon.  Hopefully some of this information will benefit some of you! What are some of your ideas that has helped you in a required style for the hair without heat?  What advice would you give to other parents who come across this issue?

Thank you so much for reading and God bless! 

Written by Sdestra
Mom to Blessed Curly Gurl, MadiMelzCurlz


  1. Hi! Thank you for this site - I hope you gain readership and the site flourishes! My daughter is almost 5 with hair similar to MadiMelz. Last year she had a ballet recital and I was torn with this very issue! We were asked for half up half down. I am new to cowashing and stretching and just started a regimine, so I didn't know what to do at the time. I washed and flat ironed her hair with light heat (only for it to shrink up! Lol!) I wasn't happy and didn't think to research resources such as this. Very happy to have a guide now! Looking forward to a summer of protective styles and fun learning my daughters hair.

    1. You're welcome Nicole! And sorry about your daughter's hair :-(. I guess for next time, if her dance school require a half up and a half down hair style, you can twist the hair that is down. Either leave it twisted or take it apart as a twist out. I've seen you on our FB profile too, thanks so much for your support! Congrats on your transitioning! I've been doing long stretches, so I can "kind" of relate :-)! You'll do great and the beauty of it, is that you can do this journey with your daughter. God bless! (-Sdestra)

  2. Oh! Forgot to say I'm transitioning so thanks for the inspiration on that, too :)

  3. Hello, I have to say I love your blog its really inspiring and a good start for me to try to grow my hair. I stumpled on one of your curly girl hair videos and had to know more. Im 16 and I want to grow my hair so badly after cutting it off when I was younger. Sadly my mother is unaware of how to care for natural hair because using a relaxer dosent bother her(her hair is short but soft and beautiful)She has been using relaxers and heat on my hair ever since i stoped wearing braids. After awhile I hated the state of my hair i cant tell if its damaged but the front left part of my head is missing hair(not like a bald spot) from when I had my hair relaxed last year. The thickness hasnt come back and neither has most of the hair not only that my scalp has so bumps and scabs i dont know what to do and If I can save my hair. I cant use relaxers any more because the burn is unbearable as soon as the relaxers go in they have to come out or my scalp feels inflamed. Would cutting my hair be a good idea? they say starting off with healthy hair is the best. Can you please tell me if theirs anyway to fix this because Im tired of the heat, weaves and relaxers and forever having a bad hair day. I know this is long but Im lost, thank you for reading i look foward to your reply.


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