Monday, August 29, 2011

The Itch to Touch

As I felt the vibrations of the plane landing on the tarmac in Tampa, FL.  I said a little prayer of thanks and was so relieved.  I hate flying but I can bear it as long as I have a good book, music and/or crochet needles with a skein of yarn stuffed in my purse.  MadiMelzCurlz loves flying and watching her DVDs
(Keeps her quiet). 

10 minutes later, I'm pulling my carry-on from the overheard compartment and I hear MadiMelzCurlz say..."You can't touch my hair because..."  I looked down and see this young woman pulling her hand back with a look of offensiveness.  I asked confused and shaking my head, "What are you doing?" and kept my gaze at her.  She said, "Her hair is so cute...I just wanted to look at it."  Right then, I wanted to remind her that looking doesn't constitute touching.  But smiled and calmly said, "Sorry, but I rather you not touch her hair, it's still a part of her body and I have to protect her."  She stood there looking appalled and then cut her eyes at me...I chuckled a bit and shook my head.  We were stuck there standing in our same spots because we were waiting for the passengers ahead to move it along down the aisle.  Still standing by my and my daughter's seats, I was hoping the woman would let us cut through....yeah right...(laughing)!  Of course she didn't...then looked back and cut her eyes at me again. I extended her the same courtesy this time, glancing to see if MadiMelzCurlz caught my bad side.  It was wrong...but the bad side of me knew it felt right :-)

I have had people at times that tell me that MadiMelzCurlz' hair is adorable and they reach to touch...and I gently pull her back.  Then I get the looks as if I didn't have the right to do that.  But she's my child...I can't have strangers just come up and touch her.  I have had others who would compliment and then ask me if I wouldn't mind because they wanted to feel how soft her hair is.  It's also good practice for my daughter so that she knows people have to ask permission before they just do something.  If I never said anything to anyone when they wanted to touch or grab her hair and succeeded, she would think that it is okay for randomn people to touch her.  So, I was proud when she told the young woman that she couldn't touch her hair, something I constantly tell her.

What are your views on strangers wanting to touch your Curly Gurl'z hair?  How do you approach the situation if and when it is about to happen?  What attitudes have you received when you respond?  What do you tell your Curly Gurl in regards to people wanting to touch her hair?  And share ways to approach a situation to diffuse it from the start.

Thank you so much for reading!

-Sdestra (BCG mom)

Saturday, August 6, 2011

BCG's & Their Input About Hair Styles...

Blogger Post By: TheBlessedMomOf3 (mom to AngelzCurlz & JoifulzCurlz)

There used to be a time when I could either see a style that I liked or get creative with my own style and try it out on my BCG’s.  Those times are long gone! No, no, no... These BCG’s have graduated to voicing their opinion when it comes to styling their hair (I wonder where they get that from…lol). It all started by them picking out their own hair accessories. Then they wanted to coordinate their accessories with their “Outfit Of The Day!!” LOL!!! Slowly but surely, things began to escalate!

My oldest BCG, JoifulzCurlz (age 7) does her research when it comes to choosing a style.  She will actually look at blog pictures or some of the albums that I created of her hairstyles and pick out her top 3 favorites. Then she’ll bring them to me and ask how long each style will take to complete. She then checks her “calendar” to see what events she has coming up for the week to assess how long her style will We then negotiate and come up with the best style for her. 

My youngest, AngelzCurlz (age 4) is a little easier to deal with but she is still quite vocal about how she wants her hair. Her problem is that she changes her mind quite often. She’ll decide on a quick and simple style like two-ponytails but quickly change her mind to whatever style she sees her big sister flaunting. Most of the time, I’ll allow her to change her mind but when I am burnt out from doing her sisters hair (she has a different texture and her hair is much thicker) I will put my foot down and make her stick to the original plan.

I have decided to embrace the fact that my BCG’s really care about their appearance. They love to see their hair freshly done and they run to the bathroom mirror to inspect their new style. They later come back thanking me for doing their hair with the camera in hand. Next comes the posing for pictures time!!  They have become accustomed to me taking pictures of their hair at every angle you can imagine. I seldom have to tell them which way to turn so that I can get the best picture, they’re pro’s at working the camera…lol. They love hearing compliments as well as giving compliments to other curly gurlz they may see. I guess I need to count my blessings. I don’t have to deal with the hair battles of them not wanting to sit for a long time. If anything, I’m the one who needs a break here and there.
If you too have an opinionated BCG then you can relate to this topic.  Here are a few tips to help things run smoothly:

~ Allow them to look through blogs, pics or magazines to pick their style (age appropriate). I have learned that if I do a style that they love, they’ll do a better job at preserving it. My BCG’s are quite active but they are more cautious when it comes to flipping on the trampoline, rolling in the grass or pillow fighting when their hair is freshly done. They’ll also remind me to moisturize/freshen up their twists, braids or pony’s and to wrap their hair at night.

~ Allow them to help pick out accessories (bows, barrettes, hair clips, hair ties). It cuts down on the negotiation process, the scowled up faces and the attitudinal problems that could potentially occur.

~ Let them partake in the styling process. I let my BCG’s count out how many hair ties, beads, barrettes and etc… I’ll need for their style. This way I won’t have to shuffle through their accessories trying to find what I need. While I prep their hair they lay out all of the tools and hand them to me when I ask for them.

~ Divert their attention by offering alternatives.  If there is a style that you don't want to do, allow your BCG to practice this style on her doll :). This may sound strange but it definitely helps when it comes to putting your foot down and sticking to your guns. There are some styles that my BCG's choose that I just don't have the time or patience to do. I'll often suggest that they try to replicate that style on their dolls hair and this usually makes everyone happy.

I hope these tips are helpful. I know that I am not the only mom who deals with this when it comes to styling your BCG’s hair.  I would love to hear your stories, feedback and tips so please share.

~blessings to you